Showing posts with label Dwuno. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dwuno. Show all posts

Dwuno Son


Dwuno Son, Dutch/Indonesian bohemian,
wore her own hand-painted shoes and self-styled dresses.
A Taoist & frequent consulter of the I-Ching,
Dwuno opened my eyes to the unnatural of social imprinting
& opened my heart to the magic & the mystery of the invisible.

In conversation with me in Den Haag in 1986.
Mentor and dear friend that had a huge impact in my life.
#InternationalWomensDay




Pure & Simple





Odd to me, to be compared to a Daisy,
as my mentor Dwuno did, about 44 years ago
when she seen a seeming simplicity and purity in my nature
that reminded her of this most common flower, a Daisy.

Odd, since I had just started to discover via the expressive arts
my fascination and 'fatal attraction' with the power of the unconscious,
with the brilliance and complexity that lies within and beneath us all. 
The correlation never made quite sense to me, but it clung to my mind
and was what compelled me to take these images yesterday.

Freedom, Power & Responsibility

Some (most?) Americans take their right to bear arms very seriously. Dwuno, my Dutch/Indonesian mentor had taught me in my late teens that trust ought to be earned, not to be given freely! It startled me then, but since I have slowly come around to this idea that freedom like trust are powers that ought to be earned. My renter from Nigeria explained to me how in his culture friendship is tested with incremental bits of information. As I see it, American culture on the whole is very immature and has not currently earned the right to the freedom and demonstrated a level of resonsibility to carry arms for individual use. While some rights ought to be free (fresh air, clean water, food? shelter? health care?) other rights such as to bear arms ought to be earned, meaning controlled. Extensive background checks, classes and tests seem not too much to demand for the priviledge to carry any kind of gun, but especially an automatic weapon. Sign on to the petition to Ban Assault Weapons powered by MoveOn.org.

Recently I passed by a neighbor's house with an open door that invited a view on a man that loaded a rifle, shortly after an announcement of a contest to a viscious hunt down of coyotes, organized of course by a gun shop. The one to kill the most would be rewarded with a semi-automatic weapon! This scene near my home of a man with rifle in hand in a cluster of homes known to deal in drugs (last remains of my gentrified 'hood) was not exactly reassuring.

I learned only earlier this year that non-concealed weapons can be worn legally, as Bobbie did when he played his guitar on the plaza on his birthday. Bobbie wore a real, kinda cute, tiny gun he had worked in to his belt buckle himself. The wild west mentality surely is alive and well here in the Land of Enchantment and the USA as a whole.


Only the other day an 18 year old, supposedly good kid, got arrested after an observed exchange of illegal drugs (dope and 'shrooms) again in my 'hood. They found a stolen gun on him. For this supposedly good kid to carry a gun with plenty of ammunition just proves my point of a wild west mentality that seems to dominate US culture. We have got to change a mentality where violence seems an acceptable means of solving problems, interpersonal, intrapersonal  or international ones.

Personally I have no use for guns, but I am all for learning about self defense and non-violent tactics for de-escalating conflict. I would welcome more stringent arms control along with easier access to mental health care and the monitoring of those that insist on their right to carry weapons. Drivers need their cars registered and have to pass tests so should gun owners. Some argue that anything can be made in to a weapon, but I believe there is proof that in domestic violence there is more damage in households that keep guns. Some argue that guns, like drugs, will always be available illegally. Yes, probably, the point is to make it harder to get them in to the wrong hands. 

Meanwhile my heart goes out to those affected by the Connecticut shooting this morning that killed as we know so far 20 school children and 7 adults. Condolences can be expressed here.

Some shocking figures have emerged: 

April 16, 2007. Virginia Tech became the site of the deadliest school shooting in US history when a student, Seung-Hui Choi, gunned down 56 people. Thirty-two people died in the massacre.

February 12, 2007. In Salt Lake City’s Trolley Square Mall, 5 pe
ople were shot to death and 4 others were wounded by 18-year-old gunman Sulejman Talović. One of the victims was a 16-year-old boy.

October 2, 2006. An Amish schoolhouse in Lancaster, PA was gunned down by 32-year-old Charles Carl Roberts, Roberts separated the boys from the girls, binding and shooting the girls. 5 young girls died, while 6 were injured. Roberts committed suicide afterward.

March 25, 2006. Seven died and 2 were injured by 28-year-old Kyle Aaron Huff in a shooting spree through Capitol Hill in Seattle, WA. The massacre was the worst killing in Seattle since 1983.

March 21, 2005. Teenager Jeffrey Weise killed his grandfather and his grandfather’s girlfriend before opening fire on Red Lake Senior High School, killing 9 people on campus and injuring 5. Weise killed himself.

March 12, 2005. A Living Church of God meeting was gunned down by 44-year-old church member Terry Michael Ratzmann at a Sheraton hotel in Brookfield, WI. Ratzmann was thought to have had religious motivations, and killed himself after executing the pastor, the pastor’s 16-year-old son, and 7 others. Four were wounded.

July 8, 2003. Doug Williams, a Lockheed Martin employee, shot up his plant in Meridian, MI in a racially-motivated rampage. He shot 14 people, most of them African American, and killed 7.

September 15, 1999. Larry Gene Ashbrook opened fire on a Christian rock concert and teen prayer rally at Wedgewood Baptist Church in Fort Worth, TX. He killed 7 people and wounded 7 others, almost all teenagers. Ashbrook committed suicide.

July 29, 1999. Mark Orrin Barton, 44, murdered his wife and two children with a hammer before shooting up two Atlanta day trading firms. Barton, a day trader, was believed to be motivated by huge monetary losses. He killed 12 including his family and injured 13 before killing himself.

April 20, 1999. In the deadliest high school shooting in US history, teenagers Eric Harris and Dylan Kiebold shot up Columbine High School in Littleton, CO. They killed 13 people and wounded 21 others. They killed themselves after the massacre.


"...(1999) the Secret Service’s National Threat Assessment Center examined 37 school attacks involving 41 student assailants from 1974 and 2000. They found a disturbing mix of mental illness and inaction:

— 93 percent of assailants exhibited behavior that caused a school official, parent, or law enforcement officer to be concerned before the attack.

— 81 percent of assailants let at least one person know that they were thinking of or planning an attack.

— 78 percent of the assailants “exhibited a history of suicide attempts or suicidal thoughts.”

— 66 percent of attackers were known to be real threats by at least one person; in nearly every case, the person who knew this was a peer, friend, or sibling.

— 34 percent of the assailants had a mental health evaluation prior to the attack.

— 17 percent of the assailants 'had been diagnosed with mental health or behavior disorder prior to the attack.'"

 "I'm sick of this. I refuse to live in a country like this, and I'm not leaving." Michael Moore


Synchronicity I

Synchronicity has been lacking in my life of late, of recent years. It used to play an important role. Here I want to reflect a bit on it's occurrences in my life. 

Synchronicity is a term coined by the Swiss Psychologist C. G. Jung and described as follow in Wikipedia: "Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events, that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance, that are observed to occur together in a meaningful manner."

Seems to me that after I started to doubt the meaning of synchronistic events they seemed no longer to occur. Meaning of course is what we assign and is not inherent, so is very personal.

Jung lived and worked in Zurich a few decades before my arrival, so that by the time I emerged in to adulthood the term synchronicity was well known and used, certainly in the social circles I chose. Dwuno, my mentor in my late teens had introduced me to the I-Ching, the Chinese oracle "... centered on the ideas of the dynamic balance of opposites, the evolution of events as a process, and acceptance of the inevitability of change." Ideas that made perfect sense to me then and now. A foundation that allowed me to embrace principles of Astrology in that same spirit of analogy rather then causality.

While Dwuno used sticks from stalks of plants (Schafgarbe) gathered at the proper, auspicious phase of the lunar cycle, I employed the simpler method of 3 Chinese copper (for it's conductivity) coins. I remember often feeling a sense of awe, and a sense of embracing life anew with reverence, and a strengthening of my belief in hidden forces at work that gave meaning to life in general and mine in particular. 

There was an incident where living communally with several guys I had mixed up our laundry to the hilarity of those involved, giving socks, maybe underwear, to one, not the other. Somehow the I Ching's response to my inquiry was profound, even though so many decades later I no longer can recall the specifics. My reading then enlightened me to some of my underlying, until then unconscious feelings.

In Amsterdam, a few years later, alone, in search of the New Age, a week had passed, I was at a loss, it was a beautiful full moon night as I returned early to the Youth Hostel. I threw an I-Ching, was stunned, slept and my world changed. Next morning for the first time I talked to others at the hostel. As I walked the rainy, dreary streets of Amsterdam again, the sun broke through. While I watched a lovely scene of many cats that enjoyed a brief, warm respite on a romantic looking houseboat, I was invited in, found a new home, a new friend, and a new beginning in this most interesting of cities, Amsterdam. Soon enough I was able to immerse myself in New Age practices like Astrology, Massage Therapy, Tai Chi, Encounter Groups, Vegetarian eating and free form dancing to name only a few. It was the mid-seventies. Times were rich, exciting and full of promise. I credit the I-Ching with my finding my way in to the new age communities of Amsterdam more expediently.

Before leaving Amsterdam again and that time for good, I connected with a Surinam black man, at least a decade older then I was then with a love of alternative theater  similar to mine (he may have had his own company, I no longer can recall with certainty.) We were not lovers, but seemed both to have the same experiences of thinking of one another as we might walk the neighborhood, only to almost immediately bump in to each other. This happened so often, it was uncanny. Probably if I had stayed on, rather then moved on, we might have become lovers, the attraction was powerful, the synchronicities amazing.

In Zuerich, one night as I meandered along the cobblestone streets of old town, I witnessed a gypsy guy playing flamenco style guitar. Suddenly he took off and left his case and cash behind, obviously afraid of the oncoming police. So I sat down next to his case and cash and eventually, after a good long while I was able to return those items to him and so another intense attraction ensued. One in which I could feel his stare on my back, while completely unaware of his proximity.

I did have a boyfriend in Amsterdam, a dutch boy with a wide grin, pink skin and big, today I would say schizoid, crazy eyes. Intensely concerned about his mental health there were times I could hear his thoughts in my head, before he spoke, eerie. In obeyance to the voice of his god, he did jump off a third story balcony. The lack of serious injury seemed to only confirm to his mind his belief in his higher power. He was institutionalized for a while. Sadly I lost touch with him, but often wonder if he is still alive - and well. His life was laced with synchronicity, stories that are not mine to tell.

But synchronistic events did not limit themselves to or with love objects. In Amsterdam I got myself in the middle of line of hitchhikers in need of reaching the place of destination for an exciting workshop I had signed myself on. I was dismayed at the long line of kids seeking a free ride, most to international destinations. Oddly though within moments a car stopped right in front of me, in the middle of that long line, at the outskirt of Amsterdam and I was offered a ride that deposed me right at the proper address in a little nearby village. Sure seemed to me that I was at the right place at the right time. Synchronicity at it's best; practical and very useful.

In New York I remember bending down to tie my shoe laces, only to avoid twice things falling from above, once water and something else (a rock?) the next time. Both times I was outside my lower east side apartment and one might argue a neighbor may not have liked me, although that had not  ever occurred to me then.

In Santa Fe oddly my new home would echo the one prior in Manhattan where I had lived on 717 East 5th Street while in Santa Fe my address was 717 Manhattan Ave. I was never sure about the meaning of this one, but always got a tickle from this fact.

I was working at a progressive psychiatric clinic outside Zurich, I was twenty. My girlfriend had gone to Israel on vacation.  I wondered if she had returned home, she was to bring me back a Bedouin dress chosen especially for me by my friend Shoshi in Israel. Uncharacteristic for me I lingered at lunch time, read the news paper and discovered an article on two Japanese girls that had drowned by accident in the lake the day before. It could not be? Yes, it did happen. My best friend and her sister had drowned by accident for real. I was able to give a tiny bit of comfort to the mother as I recounted her daughter's dreams in which she had repeatedly experienced the terror of drowning. We  had discussed those at great length in the early morning hours, maybe 4 months before the tragedy happened for real.  I had tried to mine the potential psychological meaning of those dreams with my friend, but was deeply humbled and humiliated by the actual true life event that unfolded within only a few months. The world lost a very beautiful, enormously talented, artistic, bright soul that day in my friend. Her sister had suffered from Down Syndrom and was living in a holistic minded community where she had learned more independence and ease of movement. On our very first encounter, Akiko had penetrated my eyes, when all of a sudden she jumped in to my arms, hugged me and kept looking, and looking and looking at, or rather inside of me, through my eyes. Surely this was a meeting of souls, totally non-verbal, but so powerful. I miss those two sisters, so unlike one another, but both having left a profound impression on me and many others no doubt.

Inside Sing-Sing prison one man found his long lost brother by the chance opening of a magazine where he discovered an article his brother had written of the two of them. I had the pleasure to help them reconnect.

Synchronicities surely have the capacity of enriching our lives. We all are familiar with those moments where we think of someone and the phone rings with them on the phone. Some of us dream, like my friend did of me, when in her dream she saw me in trouble, while in real life I was stranded on the side of the road with a blown engine as I considered calling my friend for help. Synchronicities can easily be dismissed as minor occurrences of chance, but sometimes they can change lives. In a funk with Higher Power I have dismissed and doubted their relevance. I am still feeling rebellious, or frustrated, or angry with God-dess, life, or the affairs of the world as they appear to my sensibilities. I do miss though those exhilarating moments of synchronicity as a relevant part of my life.

To be continued

Thanksgivings

1978, about 5 weeks in to my US stay, when I had no idea yet that I would make my permanent home here in the United States, I was dragged along to my very first Thanksgiving event. I was 24 years old, a vegetarian for about 6 years with a disdain for family events, meat and fast food. Here I was in the cabin of a prominent New York psychiatrist in the Poconos, stuck, waiting for that damn bird to be ready to be served already. I was hungry, everybody was hungry after the long drive out of Manhattan. I doubt anyone did actually venture out of that cabin and in to the woods We all laid around on a bed, hanging. We, meaning my mentor Alec, who had graciously offered me a place to stay, had welcomed me with open arms in to his fold of acolytes, and had insisted on my coming along. Of course I had never heard of Thanksgiving. Finally when the bird came out of the oven and was ready to be devoured, of course I abstained. There were barely any side dishes, barely a thing for me to eat. Horror of horrors, for dessert I remember those cream donuts; white flour, white sugar and lots of oil, yiks.

1984, new to Santa Fe, Marge invited us to her humble abode, a school bus converted into a mobile home that she shared with her two boys and occasional lovers. I remember Marge fiddling with a soup, adding more and more miso, but somehow just not getting it right. I felt for her, I have been there, done that - lousy cooking. Marge believed in free and open sex and I believe she messed up the mind and heart especially of her older teen aged boy pretty good. It was the eighties, times were wild and crazy for some.

2000, Paradise in the East Bay, Northern California, the pool was steaming at perfect temperature, a variety of fish were grilled, my Fufu, made from Plantein flour was ready and a dessert of tofu pudding served with soy whipped cream found delighted approval while not exactly easy on our digestion. We had a blast in the most enchanting home I ever had the good fortune to occupy. The Carriage House was converted to a European style witches den.


Overgrown with bright burgundy Bougainvillea,  with cute white lace curtains on all the little windows, a balcony that overlooked the pool surrounded by banana trees and exotic blooms.

 The sounds of the water overflowing from the hot tub in to the warm pool mixed with the distant sounds of laughter and dancing to Soucous music.


With me, my Nigerian lover and my dearest friends, many of them colleagues, with more then a few that shared my Cancer birth sign. We were in our element, an amicable lot and we really liked each other professionally and privately. Heaven, I was in heaven!

2010, Thanksgiving at home alone in the City Different in the Land of Enchantment, once again. Well, I am not alone, I got my 3 furry ones, but I am nobody's mom. I celebrated Thanksgiving with a "feast in my mouth" as Dr. Phil would say. There is nothing like oral gratification. Celebrating Thanksgiving without family stressors is nothing to sneeze at either. How I hate dysfunctional family dynamics. I had enough in my youth to last me life times. Now I have no family and no friends either.

I am grateful to still have my home, to still have some cash, to still be able to buy food, and dessert. I am grateful to have been granted an easy life in so many respects. I am grateful for all the horrors that so far have not befallen me. I am grateful for the kindnesses bestowed upon me. As when my mentor Alec offered me his home to stay and so I could find my bearings on this new and oh so different continent. As when Dietmar, a young father in Switzerland, offered me his place to stay when I, 17 years old, lost my room, because the landlady objected to the weekend stay of an American tourist during my absence. I am grateful to Dwuno who bestowed her light, her attention, her beauty and her wisdom on me and I was never to be the same again. I am especially grateful to my now deceased Mom who gave me the cash for the down payment on what has been my home now for the last 24 years. I am grateful that whatever stood between me and my Mom and my Dad dissolved before their passing, that we resolved whatever it was, and that we found peace together.

On a different note I am grateful for Tina Fey who still can give perspective to a Sarah Palin and so deservedly won the recent Mark Twain award. I am grateful to Michael Moore who endured a personal vendetta by big pharmaca and the former president, but keeps on trucking and keeps on inspiring us to take action and make a difference and believe in the power of the people, against all evidence so it seems.

Gratitude does not come easy to me, I really have to go fish to find morsels of it. I will do just that, go fish, be quiet and see what might bite and if, I then will report back.

9/15 Part Two

We had listened to Krishna Murti in Brockwood, England, spent a few days in London and it was time for me to leave everything I knew behind and board the cheapest flight to America. I wore my  favorite Genie pants,  created by dear Joe just for me from old soft curtains that flowed wide down my legs and gathered around my ankles. The other pair was at the bottom of my carpet shoulder bag, another work of practical art from recycled fabric by gifted Joe, a former actor turned artisan. I had perfected the art of traveling light and had become a true carpetbagger! There were two convenient outside pockets. The front one held my money,  passport, pen, special color pencils and Chinese diary, the back one held my toiletries, no room for a  hair brush, but chopsticks and a package of Miso (Barley Paste.) Little did I understand that plenty of Miso was to be had in the Asian parts of New York City.

The stewardess would come around to offer drinks and food. I did not accept. I heard them wonder out loud if maybe I was afraid of cost and if maybe I did not understand it was included in the fare. True I barely understood English and was not sure if I was expected to pay, but I also felt snobbish, as I had been eating very clean, involved with the Macrobiotic Restaurant in Amsterdam for over 2 years and limited to vegetarian fare ever since I had moved out my parent's home. I despised conventional meat based meals. Of course I also was young and anxious, in no mood to eat. Now I am old and eat any time anywhere, although I am still a snob of sorts as to the quality of food. But then I often preferred to abstain from eating for extended periods of time, especially while traveling.

When finally I arrived in the US, at Kennedy Airport, it was after midnight and the buses had stopped running. Of course I would not dream of spending my money on a cab, much less would I have known where to take it to. So I settled on one of the benches in the back, prepared to spend a few hours until the first bus would take me in to Manhattan proper. This black worker noticed me and asked where I was going to and assured me he would wake me and take me right after his shift to the first running bus. This he did and as we were crammed in early morning traffic he inquired about where exactly I was going. No idea I told him, he insisted that I must know someone in New York. So I took out my address book and showed him my only New York address, the one of my mentor/teacher. I was not even sure how, if and when I would contact Alec, but this black guy decided this was where I was to go and he would bring me there safely. He got us in to the A train that of course would not stop on W 72nd street which did not deter him, we got out and right back the other way until he safely deposited me at the proper station. All the while he would comment on my incredible calm. And he was right, I was on alert, focused and present. Say what you will about New York and black guys, but that man gave me an impressive welcome. Talk about the kindness of strangers, specifically from a black guy to a white woman, with no strings attached! He did more then got out of his way and this after a long night's work.

I was Alec's guest for several months. Barely able to speak English, I took part in an extemporaneous performance series that kept us busy most nights in to the early morning hours. I practiced the slipping in and out of altered states. Form Follows Feelings was Alec's motto and we worked hard at perfecting our form at any given moment and were diligently in the pursuit of our feelings. I practiced my Mermaid  persona at the edge of the pond in Central Park. On my way I would pass the Dakota where John and Yoko had their home. (The night of John's murder we were attending a piano concert by the amazing Keith Jarret, only blocks away.) Alec had taught at the Actor's Studio, had been a Ballet Dancer and had developed his very own style of performance art. The man had charisma with a great sense of humor. Our rehearsals were adventures in to inner space. We never knew where it would lead us and if we would have the guts to follow - all the way. We practiced our emotional vocabulary and grounded ourselves in to our bodies.

I took up Contact Improvisation a form of movement that relies on gravity and a smooth, uninterrupted flow. I gave up on Tai Chi, Chinese martial arts, too boring in comparison, so it seemed to me then. Although with my Dutch master Joe Onvlee, Tai Chi had never ever been boring, but Joe with his beer belly, greasy hair and sparkle in his eyes was extra-ordinary and employed methods by Gurdjieff that kept us on our toes, or rather in our core or Tantiem. He would yell at us: "Relax, relax, relax" and then burst out laughing. He would tell us funny stories while we had to hold our space for what seemed an eternity, with no adjustments to alleviate any discomfort. He would have us practice in front of a mirror, confusing us. He would pick a senior student to invent a form we had to follow, on the spot, as if we always had done so. Joe Onvlee was phenomenal and had an international following and was likely the first to spread Tai Chi in and through out Europe and beyond.

Yeah, it was the seventies and I had the good fortune to have come upon some charismatic folks: Dear sensitive Joe the actor turned artist and expert crafts man, the one that made it possible to leave my parent's home while I was still a student, Dwuno, the powerful and mysterious Dutch/Indonesian puppet maker, bohemian and Taoist, Joe Onvlee, the Dutch sailor with his wicked smile, that introduced Chinese martial arts to us Hippies, Paulo Knill the Swiss director of the Lesley College Theater department, who gave us absolute permission to be ourselves, even sleep through his classes in order to please ourselves rather then him the teacher. Last but not least Alec Rubin, former ballet dancer turned therapist and acting coach along the lines of the Actors Studio. I had been deeply involved with each of those gigantic souls. They each transformed my life. And all of this happened outside any formal school or institution, with no need to pledge future income for decades. With no aspirations, at least on my part, to garner certificates or titles and letters behind my name. We were driven by our own excitement only.

to be continued ...

9/15 - Part One

Today, September 15th, 32 years ago, I left Europe for good, not knowing then that I would become a US citizen and would make my home in the United States. I was a reluctant adventurer, nervous about not knowing where, what and how. I had no family or friends in the US only friends that had been to California and had experiences I too longed to have.

In the seventies, in Switzerland, most of us in our teens and twenties, we considered ourselves the alternative, the cutting edge, of what, we did not really know. We had our own tiny tea room (The Stuebli) where despite rumors, no drugs were to be had. We all sat on the floor, on carpeted pillows crafted to perfection by my dear friend Joe. We sipped herbal teas, welcomed strangers and fed them brown rice with sauteed onion rings, for free. We were anti-establishment and anti-commercialism in general and on principle. And this in the heart of Europe, Zuerich, the center of banking and commerce, and high standard of style and living.

Likely because of it, we sought community and altered states, some with and some without the help of drugs. We took delight in spontaneous humming and chanting or silences. Some of us took part in Dwuno's "Under-intellectual Gatherings." Fritze had his own essential oil line even then. I remember how this big man, with his big heart, and his big nose, which afforded him an exquisite sense of smell, introduced me to the scent of Vetivier. This happened decades before essential oils would go main stream.

Dear Fritze, then 24 years old, was also the guy that introduced us to solar power as he showed us a simple water container painted black. From him I learned, in the very early seventies, of glaciers about to melt and communities, such as San Francisco, about to drown (timing may not have been his forte.) Global Warming is not a new concept. It has been on the horizon for many decades already. Al Gore has shown us how coastal communities will likely be threatened by the warming atmosphere that melts our glaciers and gives rise to higher sea levels. (One of the saddest and most shocking things I heard was recently from a light (not exactly white) pigmented South African photographer who considers Global Warming a myth perpetuated to keep the up and coming nations down so as not to permit them the same opportunities the western world already exploited!)

Fritze played an important role in Speak Out, an organization by youth for youth in trouble, with the law or drugs. Speak Out had it's outreach center in old town among the whores that then still were able to work the streets day and night. Some of those at risk youths got a chance at intervention in a therapeutic community setting in the country. It was the early seventies, a time for experimentation, for shedding social roles and 'jumping the system' (as we would say in Hakomi Therapy terminology.) 

Every New Year, for some unknown reason, we watched Easy Rider (of course I never ever dreamed that I would make my home near Taos where good parts of this movie were shot.) We read Carlos Castaneda's first book in it's boot legged print in German. Books on Massage and Bioenergetics followed. Carlos from South America showed up and with him we had our own  Bioenergetics Thearpist (young and sexy) that helped us breath right through our own personal blockades. We even took a workshop with an Esalen Massage Therapist given at our 5 bedroom apartment. Paulo Knill, Director then of the Theater Department at the liberal arts Lesley College in Boston would inspire us with his weekly Thursday morning classes, where I first learned the basics of Contact Improvisation, of trusting the ground we stood and rolled on. We learned to engage our core muscles and go with the flow while we were free to feel our feelings. Paulo had embraced the principles of Primal Therapy. Primal scream boxes popped up in attics and cellars all over. We were intent on liberating the inner hurt child by feeling our feelings and working through our primal pains. By embodiment of our  injuries we hoped to transform ourselves from victims in to empowered, creative, artistic, fully alive human beings.  Those were powerful and transformative and today I would say also strangely addictive processes.

We listened to Leonhard Cohen, Cat Stevens, The Moody Blues, Pink Floyd and later John and Yoko, to name only a few, but most often engaged with spontaneous acoustic music wherever it erupted, often played on a guitar, with a sitar thrown in for good measure, sometimes accompanied by a flute that would soar up high and not to forget Bongos of all sizes to be pounded upon. Yeah, even I would wander those ancient streets of old town after midnight. I would softly play my little wooden recorder and felt an alienation that strangely suited me, that seemed to set me apart from main stream. 

We shopped, when we could afford it, at Mister Natural, our first alternative health food store. Dwuno would severely reprimand us when we brought conventional commercial brown rice to our tea room. In the early mornings I would walk down the hill with an aluminum (I am afraid those were the kinds used then) kettle of fresh whole milk in hand for our Chai of the day or rather night. I have fond memories of those very early and very late peaceful times on ancient, cobble stoned, narrow, rivulet-like streets.  I had been liberated only recently from an ordinary, somewhat stultifying Swiss childhood. Times seemed sweet and and full of promise. 

In search of further altered, exalted states I departed from Zuerich and later Amsterdam to eventually arrive in New York, the United States exactly 32 years ago to this day.

Continued with Part Two 

Unsolicited Advice #6

Learn the difference between a response and a reaction!
Dr. Kaushik
I must credit Dr. Kaushik with alerting me to the difference of a response versus a reaction.
 
It was the seventies, I was still in my teens, Dr. Kaushik had just started to travel the world teaching his insights to those that would listen. I had just moved in to a farm house with a huge attic out in the Swiss, very pretty countryside. Dr. Kaushik came to hold his seminar in our attic. It was all very exciting. An international group of young attractive world travellers came to camp out with this guru, or master from India. My mentor Dwuno placed Dr. Kaushik's teaching to a similar level of enlightenment as Krishnamurti's, a very high endorsement. So happily I sat at this man's feet along with everyone else and listened. I was young and in serious trouble with my parents. Eventually I got up the courage to ask about my situation at home. His answer: "Don't react!"

An automatic reaction is a far cry from a measured response. Mature, responsible human beings nurture the ability to respond, rather then react! I will always feel gratitude for Dr. Kaushik's teachings.

Mentor

I was introduced to Dwuno on a cobble stone street in old town Zuerich. Her silvery hair hung over her back, her cheeks pronounced, her eyes dark, deep, large and full of mischief, her clothes seemingly home made, a tunic of sorts hung of her voluptious body, her feet stuck in sandals she had painted with sacred designs of her own pleasure. I was 19, Dwuno could have been my Mom, but then she could not. Dwuno gathered us in to "under-intellectual" Sunday gatherings. It was the seventies, meaning the sixties for us in Switzerland. Dwuno introduced me to an aspect of my self I did not know existed. A state of being, a state of bliss, a state of wholeness and movement with no intent. Dwuno, exotic, dramatic, stunningly beautiful was my very first mentor. I owe her, the world, a gift in kind.

Why blog?

I like the challenge of formulating my thoughts and feelings. And then having an exchange about them. I miss European style communication, where we talk for hours and the conversation flows freely from one subject to another and we come back to a point from a different perspective, exploring, thinking out loud and having the greatest of times. I miss my long walks in the woods with my dearest friend, passed on already. I miss talking with strangers, so easily done in public in Europe. I miss the excitement too, of belonging to a group of colorful, artistic, fun, sometimes outrageous, sometimes inspirational, on occasion inventive, alternative minded and usually kind folks of different nationalities, different colors, cultures and upbringings.

In my teens we had "under-intellectual gatherings" on the initiative of Dwuno, my mentor then. We would sit, in a circle, some in meditation, some in simple silence, many in awe and wonder as energy would move us always in to the unexpected. There never was a plan for these event, but there was trust, certainly from Dwuno, in the nature of TAO, the natural flow and development of most everything, if given a chance.

In my twenties, in Amsterdam, I was at home at het Nabjie Ooste, the macrobiotic restaurant, where I found a way to survive, thrive, do service and learned about whole foods and the importance of diet. Where the work day started out with a practice session of Tai-chi and finished with hanging out together frequently with the making, listening and/or dancing to music.

In my thirties I was in instant heaven at Harbin Hot Springs. I loved the community, and the floating in warm, natural, healing mineral water. We floated each other and I spent many hours a day, training myself to manipulate all kinds of body types in the luscious, sensual, silky, temperate aquatic environment. I learned to listen and truly follow.

In my early forties I sought communion and community among the social dancers with varied degrees of successes. I never fit in to the Country Western local crowd, but felt at home dancing with the African ex-pats in Switzerland. I do love rhythm and West African styles especially. Not that the mobilization of the hip came easy, it took a lot of practice, but such made for progress. A bonus was the communication in french patois. I never learned to follow those that bore me and had a tendency to take over. But utter bliss awaited in someone's capable arms and creative interpretation.

In the last few years the internet has become my social realm. I applaud a more interactive format where news bits are shared and commented on freely and are read by many, that offer in turn their different perspectives. I joined the Huffington Post and a bit earlier Facebook, because I do believe that they are valid and valuable ways of building community and fostering social interaction, potentially.

Interacting with real people in real time, in body of late, I find most have barely the attention span for me to communicate an idea, much less a concept. Over and over I find myself interrupted in a response by something else happening and demanding the focus elsewhere. It is rather disconcerting. And while I am getting older, I do not think my mind so feeble yet to not be able to express myself succinctly.

Back to blogging and why. I believe in self-expression, I like the challenge and my hopes are for feedback and interaction. I am a bit worried about too much exposure, but then remind myself that I have nothing, or at least not much to hide. I blog because on line I have at least a chance of interaction which is to say that this is your invitation to respond and engage.