Reminiscing

2009 started out with a mild, Spring like day that invited walking around town in an unbuttoned coat with camera around my neck, and rope in hand, with two pups in tow. We meandered, followed our noses and impulses with no particular plan in mind while I collected whatever caught my eyes in our "City Dipherent" in the lovely "Land of Enchantment."

The very next night at home, I fell down the stairs in response to the yodeling of my luck bringing black Pretty Kitty who indicated he was about to throw up, thrice! All I was able to think was 'not on my freshly laundered white cotton/linen couch covers!' In my attempt to race down to chase the cat off the sofa I slipped and tumbled down the stairs helplessly until I hit bottom. (Is there a message of sorts hidden in hitting bottom?) It took me a moment to gather myself and praise God-dess for being able to move and  for having no worse injuries then one deeply bruised and battered lateral thigh. The thoughts though that assaulted my mind, the feelings of vulnerability, the worries, the shock, the what ifs were intense. 

Following that, I gave myself permission to drown in a to me brand new novel, Shantaram. What an amazing, outstanding, poetic, sensitive, insightful and exotic read! Essentially it is a tale of father/son love, or the lack of and hope for. Such inspired countless adventures in to very rough terrain, such as an escape from an Australian prison, life inside the slums of Bombay, an Indian group of Mafiosos, illegal weapons trade with trekking through Afghanistan, and all along an infatuation with a Germanic woman, to name a few only. While it is a fascinating read, sprinkled with poetic gems of pure writing genius, it is also a very heavy, but spell binding subject matter that offers profound insights and questions in to human nature and motivation with seeming sincerity and deep probing. A diamond no longer in the rough, but  cut from the intense human experience of the writer himself, very well worth the read. 

Originally posted 1.11.09, which so reminds me of 9.11.01 and the many changes since.

when is enough enough or how do we line up the ducks

This evening I was sitting with George on a rock near a fountain that after years of dryness, suddenly flowed again freely. George was troubled with office politics and ran the stories by me.

A drunk guy I had chastised earlier for his audacity of stealing roses from the Santuario in plain view, kept staggering by us, upsetting my dogs who rarely bark at people. Suddenly one and then two biker tough guys took offense and violence seemed imminent. George called 911 and thankfully as he responded to seeming endless questioning, the energy dispersed and the bikers took off and were gone by the time a cop finally showed up.

Afterward one of the drunk street guys came over to us to apologize for this other drunk's obnoxious behavior. He hollered back to his buddy that he was talking to some "old folks" because they (we!) had wisdom. Wow, nobody had yet ever called me to my face "old". Turns out he is half my age and has spent the last 12 years homeless on the streets. His parents were Meth addicts and no, he would never get in to that. His lady left him and got clean and sober and his 9 year old son does not even know who his father is, although he said he calls him frequently and does tell him that he misses him.

The guy sounded and looked dejected, kept mumbling about the need for something to stand it. He brought up AA and said he had not been to a meeting in over a year. George shared with him how he got off drinking and drugging by simply deciding so and rambled on about the power of the mind. The kid seemed to hang on every of his words until he had enough and retired to the bench across from us.

This brings up one of the questions that has always fascinated me, when is enough enough? How do we make the magic happen so that all the ducks line up in one row and all the magnetic particles orient to the same one pole with a clear focus and an unwavering intent? How do we get there? Personally I have experienced this magic at various times, but never got how to make the magic happen. It happens to me.

The other question of course is this guy, and besides the dispensation of 'our wisdom' and the pointing him to the direction of our local shelter and AA groups, what should, could and would we want to do? I wished I had the number of two recovered alcoholics active in AA on me. I still might inquire with these two AA sponsors tomorrow on how to offer further help, and I will be on the look out for that 27 year old kid. He just might be ready for his Saturn Return change of life. Who can say? Sure it is up to him, but a steadying hand at just the right time can do wonders, or not.