Pretty - Ugly

"You don't have to be pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend, spouse, partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ' female'." 

- Diana Vreeland, writer and editor for Harper's Bazaar and Vogue, both magazines I rarely ever cared to lay my eyes upon.

A startling quote to me, I have never heard it put quite this way. Current culture puts an inordinate amount of emphasis on looks, be that in regard to women, nowadays even men, products or produce. I discovered the quote on facebook under which a lengthy discussion ensued about the use of make-up or not. This clearly is not the issue, the point is women should no longer feel compelled to have to spend inordinate amounts of energy and time into prettifying themselves. It should be a matter of choice.

In my career as a professional massage therapist at various spas, I had several clients confess to me their disappointment in not having gotten one of the prettier 'masseuses' - followed by gratitude for provenance that had brought us together and gave them exactly what they needed! This is because I did not touch them skin deep only, but I managed to connect to deeper aspects of themselves. Emotions, sensations to full-fledged memories those men had no idea existed within them, but I welcomed all of those often neglected aspects of being human. They left often feeling relieved, relaxed, profoundly moved, and grateful. To those clients, I suddenly looked beautiful and given a chance they would request my expertise again and  again.

This is still the week of the Donald having been accused once again of another attack on a woman, this time of fat shaming by one of his beauty queens. He has fired back with ludicrous early morning tweets for us to go and check out some porn sites! Overweight, white, male, slob's demands on a latina woman to work out just will not fly, certainly not with millennials, the latin population or women in general. Wide girthed, patriarchal, white males such as Trump, Guliani, and Gingrich, that treated their wives horribly, coming to Trump's defense and attacking Hillary for her husband's indiscretions will surely not fly either. How ludicrous can this election season still get?

Kindness

A woman yells across a good size street. Is she saying hello to me? Should I know her from somewhere, is she referring to something I ought to have remembered? The woman, a seeming local, now yells on top of her lungs. What? She demands of me to be a "good citizen" and pick up my Isabella-girl's poop. Her request made on top of her athletic lungs comes across in a most uncivilized manner.

I had been thinking. Yep, Oprah has been on my mind of late, since I watched her moving, heartfelt  finale. It touched my heart, made me reflect, even write to Oprah. I had not payed close attention to my Isabella-girl. I thought she had peed on the grass, not pooped. I am all for picking up poop and being responsible and I carry the prerequisite, biodegradable bags on me for that very purpose. There was nothing wrong with the message, sometimes we all can use reminders, but there was everything wrong with the delivery. Why did that happen to me now, this very evening at the moment I am thinking about lessons I may or may not have learned from Oprah?

Well, I turned back and searched for those usually sizable piles my girl manages to expel and found - nothing, not even with the help of a nice young man. Isabella-girl must have peed just as I had thought. But I will make it a point to pick up an extra pile at the next opportunity.

The incident reminded me of that time when my back was out, I was barely able to stand much less move, not to speak of bending over. I was in bad shape, seriously verklemmt. Isabella needed walking and so I got myself up and out with my then still very new puppy, my first dog. I was apprehensive, concerned her pulling on the lead could seriously hurt me. Then I stood there wondering how to manage and pick up that poop, barely able to stand straight.

Sure enough two women approached, one of them statuesque and somehow familiar looking, a local personality, she proceeded to tell me in an off-handed way that it was my job to pick up after my dog. I looked at her and then told her that my back was out and if she would be willing to lend me a hand and help me out I would be very grateful. With a sneer she told me what I already knew, my new puppy was my responsibility. She walked on. I felt like I had gotten stabbed in to my heart. Still feel it as I remember this. I have no doubt this woman had no sense how cruel her exchange felt to me, she must have felt all righteous. Maybe that is the problem, believing ourselves in the right, we can become pompous, even cruel. So this is a reminder, especially to us outspoken, outgoing, take charge kinda women, of which I include myself: Always remember KINDNESS!