Rape

Rape is not rape is not rape is not rape. 

Not all rapes are equal.

Watching the cat fight that broke out between two women, feminists, that ought to stand on the same side and pull in the same direction, was truly disconcerting. My objections to the exchange between Jaclyn Friedman and Naomi Wolf have nothing whatsoever to do with my support of Julian Assange in his attempt at exposing the underhandedness of the big players. I want to be clear, rape is a very serious matter and needs to be investigated and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I want to add that anyone insisting on unprotected sex with a stranger is an asinine, selfish idiot, and those giving in to such unreasonable demands are not much better!

This said, the "very effective smear campaign" as Assange calls it, in light of what we can understand off posts on the net, just does not add up, does not even warrant the word rape, as most of us (maybe Swedes excluded) understand what constitutes such a sexual violation. The two women after having bragged about their contest on-line supposedly, and after having found out that Assange had slept with them both and put them both at risk, showed up at the police to request help in getting Assange tested (not arrested) for STDs. It was the police that suggested rape charges. And lo and behold in Sweden a man can be charged for rape if he stands naked behind a sex partner in an attempt to 'negotiate' intercourse. By the way humans are the only animal that will negotiate sexual relations (Leonard Slain.) The charges had been dropped only to be taken up again at a most opportune moment. Strange indeed. For 5 weeks Assange had stayed in Sweden to deal with the matter and finally left the country with full consent of the authorities. He was never on the run, in fact had offered himself up to the authorities again in London, only to be held for 10 days in isolation! Outrageous. Meanwhile US authorities are looking in to the important matters of making up charges for the guy, no doubt happy to have him out of circulation for the moment.

Rape is such a serious offense. One that evokes ideas of brutality and debilitating victimization. Yet rape can have more of a seductive, rather then brutal quality, still it is rape. But rape has to be distinguished from normal adult negotiations of sexual relations. True an adult in an altered state, be it through drugs, alcohol, sleep, or even massage is in a seriously weakened position for negotiations. Initiating sex with a sleeping partner is not rape in my book. Excluding altered states from normal human interactions is ludicrous. Next we have to sign contracts on paper before sex each and every time. Women are not little weak and meek creatures at the mercy of men.

Enough already with all this political correctness. A woman has to carry the responsibility of her choices. If she chooses to have sex with a stranger, sleep with the stranger, should she really be surprised if there is renewed demand for more of the same? If a woman can not say NO to a man, can not say NO to unprotected sex, can not say NO repeatedly and say NO with the whole of her body so as there to be no mistake in her intent, she has no business being alone with a stranger in a compromising, potentially volatile situation. Sure, most women that have been around the block have made their mistakes, maybe have some regrets, but is this cause for prosecution and hanging a guy up by his balls? Now in all this I assume there has been no brutality, playful wrestling and such excluded. Any situation that escalates to serious violation of the nature of brutal rape must be prosecuted, for the benefit of all involved, and those potential future victims.

Jaclyn Friedman's demand for sexual partners to be "enthusiastic" is amusing at best, ridiculous at worst and far from the real world of so many. The vehemence in her defense of the supposed victims is very characteristic of one that is recovering from abuse and as so often, does go overboard. That's o.k., I can dismiss such as growing pains.

Julian Assange, a rising star in the progressive world, may conveniently not have been aware of the power he holds, or rather the social status he had achieved, at least likely in the minds of those two women that attended his workshop. Power differentials can wreck havoc in sexual relations be it between workshop leader and participant, teacher and student, guru and sanyasin, therapist and client or goddess forbid parent and child. We can observe again and again how the ones in power magnanimously bestow their gift, their attention and all too often their sexuality to the admirers, feeling no sense of wrong doing. Soon they will move on to bigger and better opportunities only to leave behind trails of broken hearts, shattered expectations, false promises and dashed hopes. It is never a pretty sight. And likely they will never look back.

We all really do not know what happened except Julian Assange has very effectively been linked in our minds to atrocious crimes of a vile sexual nature of which bits and pieces are now cemented in our impressionable gray matter. We respond emotionally either for the WikiLeaks hero or against the accused male rapist. Timing is not everything, synchronicity does happen. While it stinks, give it some time and space, let the dust settle and really give those women the tests on STDs they wanted all along. Time will tell if this is and should be a proper legal matter or rather should have stayed all along in the interpersonal realm. But let us not cry out for Julian's head, or balls as it may be, before even charged with a crime, much less found guilty. And let us not play him in to the hands of big powers out to get him and prevent him from the important work he has been doing. Important because as Michael Moore said, and I agree whole heartedly, the US has deceived us in to one war, toppled Saddam for the absolute wrong reasons and in so doing lost our good will and should have been on probation so to say ever since, with the light shining bright on US international affairs in particular.

If this sordid matter brings the issue of rape more in to the public domain  for education and clarification, then maybe something good can come out of this and rape can be taken seriously and can be prosecuted with renewed vigor and conviction, even in Sweden. I though doubt we will see frequent Interpol searches for the garden variety local rapist in the near future.

If I have not stated my points clear enough, please forgive me, maybe Bianca Jagger's thoughts on this matter will prove more helpful. Watch one of the very best interviews with Julian Assange here.