Once again massage therapy is linked to sex, this time in an article of our local New Mexican, where it says that massage led to sexual assault. 39 year old Marcial Zapata looks rather scary, certainly scruffy and not exactly trust worthy in his mug shot. Another male accused of the abuse of a female. Inappropriate touch is never excusable, yet sadly still rampant. My sympathies always lie with the victim.
Still, what gets me is that "the woman said she began feeling uncomfortable when Zapata's hands began sliding up the baggy shorts she wore." I say, if you are not comfortable getting a professional massage in the nude, covered only by a sheet or towel, get seated bodywork, or get the services of an Acupuncturist or Chiropractor, neither requires a state of undress. The fact that the woman wore shorts, and baggy ones on top, speaks volumes. Would we all learn to listen to our intuitions and take actions accordingly.
There are very legitimate reasons to therapeutically work on and all around the butt. For people to take offense because a professional bodyworker pulls their pantie below the sacrum is ludicrous and really hampers effective therapy. It speaks of a society steeped still in feeling prudish, unbecoming in this day and age. The times when a glance at a ladies wrist or ankle set a male in to ecstatic musings are long gone. Professional, therapeutic bodywork has constantly to contend with prudish, moral, religious and culturally based taboos. Any bodyworker worth his salt, or your money, knows how patterns of stress repeat themselves and knows of the importance of maybe touching the feet to relief a headache, maybe working the Glutes to address tight shoulders and neck. For God-dess sake, if you are uncomfortable speak up, if you don't understand, ask!
As a professional bodyworker for almost 3 decades I have had to contend with inconvenient underwear often. While current ethic laws suggest, maybe demand that we do not slide our hands under the coverings of a client's choosing, I have done so many times. Nobody ever stormed out of my practice because of pulling a pantie down so I can address the oh so very important sacral tip, the coccyx at the very end of a spin. Often though I had to explain my intent which always I was more then happy to do.
While real abuse happens and may have happened in this reported case, the details were not forth coming, some abuse may be a figment of the victim's imagination. Everything hinges on trust which is maintained only in an on-going effort at communication. We can give trust in an instant and lose it just as fast. Misunderstandings might be just as rampant as actual abuse I would venture to say!
The woman here had come back to this unregistered, unlicensed supposed 'healer' for the third time. He must have done her some good for her to have returned to him twice. License is no guarantee for quality of treatment. Neither is price, but $40 is very low for a massage, unless given by a student.
So how do we know if any given practitioner is legit, able, capable and professional? Offering his diagnosis clearly put him outside legal parameters. Massage Therapists are not allowed to diagnose, period. I have offered my professional, educated estimation of what might help in addressing any one symptom and often was rewarded in being right on the money, or right about 'the issues in the tissues.' There are very few bodyworkers though that actually know how to palpate and rearrange organs. I have never been one of them. So I would know nothing of a diagnosis of "a dropped uterus." Correcting the positions of organs can be legitimate and possible, but should be offered only by a highly trained professional. We can always go for a second opinion, we can check the registries, but ultimately we have to rely on our intuition and ability to take matters in our own hands. We have to learn to know when anyone crosses our boundaries and then respond appropriately. We have to learn to not give our power to another, even while we are down and they are towering over us.
This guy, Marcial Zapata, may be a creep, may have taken blatant advantage of a woman in a vulnerable physical and psychological position, which would be reprehensible. Please remember though, no stoning of those not yet proven guilty, neither of those found guilty and certainly not of the innocent. Those times have passed. (At least they are long gone in our western world, while sadly in some places like Iran they still are alive and well.) We no longer throw the victims to the lions, but one would not know reading the comments in the blogosphere.
This guy, Marcial Zapata, may be a creep, may have taken blatant advantage of a woman in a vulnerable physical and psychological position, which would be reprehensible. Please remember though, no stoning of those not yet proven guilty, neither of those found guilty and certainly not of the innocent. Those times have passed. (At least they are long gone in our western world, while sadly in some places like Iran they still are alive and well.) We no longer throw the victims to the lions, but one would not know reading the comments in the blogosphere.
What irks me are those Puritans that cry foul play when they understand nothing about the art of bodywork or massage therapy, the wonders that can unfold, the depth of experiences that can be had and the freedom that can be felt after having shed a life time's worth of armoring and hiding behind social dos and don'ts.
It's a difficult balance, isn't it? Best to leave it to a jury of his peers, I suppose. It's true the USA suffers from its history of Calvinism and prudery. But as you know so well, women who are survivors of childhood abuse are particularly sensitive--not because they're prudish, but because they have body memories that can be triggered. We often feel intention, we often know what is not spoken. And then, on the opposite end, you have a massage therapist (if she is a therapist) accusing a former vice president of assaulting her...with some pretty flimsy evidence. So who knows? I don't know. And I know that I don't know. But I can see that a massage therapist's life is certainly complicated.
ReplyDeleteYes, that masseuse (to me a rather demeaning term) that accused Al Gore of improprieties. The fact that she would take a call after midnight to a private hotel room and afterward sit on the side of the bed speaks volumes. Sitting down to chat afterward is not something any professional massage therapist would ever do, most certainly not in the early morning hours accompanied with a glass of alcohol. So that sealed my opinion of the woman. Too bad such accusations stick, while dismissals get overlooked.
ReplyDeleteOf course abuse is real and terrible and I do not mean to judge the victim here, only appeal to some common sense. But I want to rebuff those quick to condemn and to punish and to put their small puritan stamps on the daily news. I am fed up with the harsh commentators, on-line and everywhere. Those that make any reasonable insightful discussions impossible.